There is a spot along the highway between Mobile and Montgomery where the smell of burning leaves is unmistakable. This smell always brings a specific memory to my mind. It is from my Grandmother’s yard on a brisk fall day. My siblings, one cousin and my aunt, along with my Grandmother were raking and then burning, fall leaves. That was before being “green” was in and leaves were the enemy.

            I mention this because as we go through the holidays (any holiday) and we take time to visit or call family members--realize that all those people in your life will not always be there. I would love to revisit that moment and rake some leaves with them again. Sometimes getting together to visit family is a pain. The travel, staying in a home that is unfamiliar, hanging with people that you didn’t choose but are related to or married into can sometimes make you think that visiting family is unimportant. But it is not. God put us in families.

            As families become more mobile, it can become more difficult and expensive to see family even one time a year. But, take the time anyway. It is tiring, its stressful, but it is worth it. They need to know you and spend a little time with you. Young’uns out there—those older folks in your life really do want to see you and talk to you, even if only for a few minutes. Take time to ask them how a food dish is prepared--or chat about a time you spent time with them in earlier years. It will make their day. And, at some point in the future, you will savor a great memory.

            Lastly, remember those who are missing people or face strained family relationships this Christmas. Holidays make that loss more pointed and painful. Merry Christmas is easy to say and hard to “be” sometimes. But I will say it anyway: Merry Christmas everyone. “Merry” means happy and cheerful, feeling joy. Sometimes that does not categorize our mood at all. But, we can be “merry” in our heart because the source of joy is the Creator God who gave us this life, this Christmas, to live and enjoy.

[PHOTO: me making coleslaw for my mom for a family dinner]

Letter to a Young Leader

Dear Young Leader:

As you go into the “real world,” remember that life is not a destination; it is a journey. Don’t be in such a hurry, with your eyes focused upon some future milestone, that you neglect to live fully in the present. These principles, drawn from the Bible, will help you make wise decisions.

·      Do not steal. No one likes a thief.

·      Do not lie, even if telling the truth gets you into trouble. Lies compromise your reputation.

·      Do not cheat. Don’t let anyone tell you that cheating does not matter. It does.

·      Don’t brag on yourself, ever.

·      Clean up your own messes. Don’t create work for others. Take responsibility for yourself.

·      Get up early.  This life skill will serve you well in just about any endeavor.

·      Read your Bible and base your decision-making upon it. What you learn through Scripture and prayer will change you incrementally, teach you invaluably, and grow you in ways unfathomable to you now.

·      Pray to God every morning before you face the world.

·      Don’t be afraid.

·      Have confidence in God’s work in you.

If you had good examples of good character and high integrity in your own home, let them also guide your decision-making. If that was not the case, find someone much older to go to for advice. Treat everyone well, from the maid to the CEO.  The Golden Rule, to treat others as you want to be treated, will serve as a reminder when you don’t know how to behave or respond. The people you spend the most time with will teach you by their example. If they lack integrity, are lazy, or are deficient in any way, you will be continually tempted to act like them. Spend time with people you admire and want to mold your life after.

Family is important. Your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, will all be in your life as long as you are on this earth. Your friends may be there, or not. Don’t neglect the older people in your life. They have wisdom that only living many years can give. Take time to talk to them.  Find out something they know and learn from them. Whether it’s making an apple pie, or how to change the oil in your car, people want to share what they know. Always show appreciation for anything, however small, that someone gives you. Also, thank them when they help or teach you. A grateful heart keeps you from self-centeredness and reminds you to think of others.

Fear can steal your future. Jumping off a cliff should give you fear because the law of gravity is in effect all the time. But many fears are in your head.  Don’t let fear stop you from living the way God intends you too. You don’t have to be the smartest person to be successful.

There is no shame in starting at the bottom. In Scripture, Jesus called the greatest to be the servant of all the others. Do what is asked of you at home and on the job and never justify breaking the rules. There is no right way to do the wrong thing. Hardly any job is only about the money. Be on time, be dependable, treat people well, and learn new skills. You can take more from a job than money. Always do more than the boss asks.  Work diligently. If you find yourself picking up the pace when the boss is around, ask yourself, “Why not work that hard all the time?” Serve others as you lead. Always be willing to do yourself what you ask others to do

Don’t make money or popularity your goals, they will disappoint. Lazy people don’t reach their goals. Get things done and don’t worry who gets credit. Learn from criticism: When facing correction, don’t reject it or get defensive. Just listen and think about it. Be honest with yourself and say, “What can I learn from this?”  

Be a reader. Books contain what people who have gone before you have learned in written form. Always be reading a book on a subject that interests you.  Learn something new everyday.

Always have someone in your life that will be honest with you. The only way to improve is to realize what you need to change. Listen. If you talk all the time you won’t learn anything. People get tired of hearing you talk. Don’t criticize or gossip about others. Those who gossip with you will also gossip about you.

Save money and don’t whine (or brag) about it. No matter what your income, find a way to save at least 10% in addition to giving 10% to your church. If you increase your standard of living every time your income increases, you will not know what to do when your income decreases. This will likely happen at some point. Denying yourself today will allow you to have more for the future.

The advice in this letter may feel preachy or bring out the rebel in you to do the opposite. If it does, this letter failed to keep you from wasting precious time. When you are all alone, God is there. Don’t wait until the moment of desperation to build a relationship with Him. He sees all you do and hears all you say. He knows you better than anyone and loves you anyway. Just start communicating and listening to Him and the relationship will grow. God will never fail you.

Sincerely,

Donna J. Wright

From Guest to Friend

            Churches are comprised of people. It is not a building or even a service. One task I have is to make sure our guests are welcomed. It is my “job” but it is something I did as a volunteer both here and other churches before it became part of my official responsibilities. Often I hear folks say, “I don’t know this person” or “we’ve never met” in some situations. The tendency is to blame an outward circumstance for the reason we don’t know someone or have not seen someone before. But in our body at West Mobile, it is our job to meet new people. Whatever you need to do to make that happen, you should do it.

            I had breakfast recently with one of our members who was moving back to her home after a short-term stint in Mobile and at our church. Debbie expressed appreciation for her experience at WEMO and for what she had learned. I love to hear from someone with a fresh experience in our church. As years go by (9 and counting for me), I stop seeing and understanding how our church looks to an outsider or a new person coming in. So this conversation gave me some much needed insight.

            Allow me to share some of her insights with you. Debbie attended alone, since her spouse had not moved for this short term. She said that she had visited other churches and felt lonely there. She thanked some folks at West Mobile for being friendly to her and coming to sit with her in the worship service. Her remark, “people would ask me to come sit with them but at West Mobile people would come sit with me,” this subtle change meant a lot to her.

            Debbie also immediately began attending a small group upon her second visit. This group of ladies became her base of friends at West Mobile. If you are not in an open small group that invites people to join your group, you will not meet these new people. It is fun to be in a close group of friends that already know each other but to make new friends it takes some extra effort. Groups are richer and healthier with newcomers joining them and they also keep the group’s focus outward. Outward focus in a small group will result in a better outward focus for our church as a whole.

            Debbie continued to share, “The people at WEMO moved me out of my comfort zone when it came to outreach.” This was a surprise for me to hear. We struggle most of the time to get people to participate in an outreach event. People will come and do other tasks, but to do something like witnessing, it can be difficult to get helpers. She remarked that one of the first events she participated in was an outreach last July at Autumn Woods apartments. I remember that day well. She just jumped right in after I showed her how to use a balloon to tell kids about Jesus. I found out that day that she had never done anything like that before--and was uncomfortable and uneasy doing it. But, she said, “It was good for me to do that. I learned so much about getting outside the walls of the church rather than just inviting people to come. That is all I had ever done before until that day.” [see photo, Debbie is shown on the left with Amelia who also did balloons that day at Autumn Woods]

            We both agreed that it takes a conscious effort to meet guests and new members at any church. It won’t happen by good intentions, blaming which service you attend (or don’t), or hoping someone else will do it. It should be an intentional effort for all of us and if you enjoy it a lot, become an “official” greeter.

            So what can you do to meet new people at WEMO?

·      Sit with people you don’t know

·      Be a part of an open group that invites new people

·      Get involved in outreach—outside your comfort zone

·      At the end of every service, spend at least 5 minutes talking to people you don’t know before you revert to visiting with your regular friends

·      Best of all: invite someone to have lunch with you. You might make a new friend in addition to making someone feel welcome at church.

One of my seminary professors valued relationships very highly. I learned many skills from him but the enduring legacy he left with me was that “you can’t have too many friends.” Don’t limit yourself to a small group of friends. Always be open to allow new people to join you; their presence can enrich your life in ways you cannot predict.

            This past week, I got news that my friend Harold had died in Georgia. Harold’s obituary read: He was a U.S. Navy veteran, retired master printer, accomplished carpenter, VA nursing home volunteer, Baptist deacon, and family man. But back when I met Harold, he was a new believer. He was not yet the last half of those descriptions. He was in my Experiencing God group along with other folks who were very, very different from me. I remember that group for that reason. I would have never chosen these people to join my group. But to this day I can remember what I learned from them. They saw life and the world in a unique way and helped me understand their perspective. All those new people became my friends over the 15 weeks we met together and then we were in church together until we moved. Don’t miss meeting the people God brings to West Mobile. Use your initiative and energy to discover what God wants to teach you through them.