From Guest to Friend

            Churches are comprised of people. It is not a building or even a service. One task I have is to make sure our guests are welcomed. It is my “job” but it is something I did as a volunteer both here and other churches before it became part of my official responsibilities. Often I hear folks say, “I don’t know this person” or “we’ve never met” in some situations. The tendency is to blame an outward circumstance for the reason we don’t know someone or have not seen someone before. But in our body at West Mobile, it is our job to meet new people. Whatever you need to do to make that happen, you should do it.

            I had breakfast recently with one of our members who was moving back to her home after a short-term stint in Mobile and at our church. Debbie expressed appreciation for her experience at WEMO and for what she had learned. I love to hear from someone with a fresh experience in our church. As years go by (9 and counting for me), I stop seeing and understanding how our church looks to an outsider or a new person coming in. So this conversation gave me some much needed insight.

            Allow me to share some of her insights with you. Debbie attended alone, since her spouse had not moved for this short term. She said that she had visited other churches and felt lonely there. She thanked some folks at West Mobile for being friendly to her and coming to sit with her in the worship service. Her remark, “people would ask me to come sit with them but at West Mobile people would come sit with me,” this subtle change meant a lot to her.

            Debbie also immediately began attending a small group upon her second visit. This group of ladies became her base of friends at West Mobile. If you are not in an open small group that invites people to join your group, you will not meet these new people. It is fun to be in a close group of friends that already know each other but to make new friends it takes some extra effort. Groups are richer and healthier with newcomers joining them and they also keep the group’s focus outward. Outward focus in a small group will result in a better outward focus for our church as a whole.

            Debbie continued to share, “The people at WEMO moved me out of my comfort zone when it came to outreach.” This was a surprise for me to hear. We struggle most of the time to get people to participate in an outreach event. People will come and do other tasks, but to do something like witnessing, it can be difficult to get helpers. She remarked that one of the first events she participated in was an outreach last July at Autumn Woods apartments. I remember that day well. She just jumped right in after I showed her how to use a balloon to tell kids about Jesus. I found out that day that she had never done anything like that before--and was uncomfortable and uneasy doing it. But, she said, “It was good for me to do that. I learned so much about getting outside the walls of the church rather than just inviting people to come. That is all I had ever done before until that day.” [see photo, Debbie is shown on the left with Amelia who also did balloons that day at Autumn Woods]

            We both agreed that it takes a conscious effort to meet guests and new members at any church. It won’t happen by good intentions, blaming which service you attend (or don’t), or hoping someone else will do it. It should be an intentional effort for all of us and if you enjoy it a lot, become an “official” greeter.

            So what can you do to meet new people at WEMO?

·      Sit with people you don’t know

·      Be a part of an open group that invites new people

·      Get involved in outreach—outside your comfort zone

·      At the end of every service, spend at least 5 minutes talking to people you don’t know before you revert to visiting with your regular friends

·      Best of all: invite someone to have lunch with you. You might make a new friend in addition to making someone feel welcome at church.

One of my seminary professors valued relationships very highly. I learned many skills from him but the enduring legacy he left with me was that “you can’t have too many friends.” Don’t limit yourself to a small group of friends. Always be open to allow new people to join you; their presence can enrich your life in ways you cannot predict.

            This past week, I got news that my friend Harold had died in Georgia. Harold’s obituary read: He was a U.S. Navy veteran, retired master printer, accomplished carpenter, VA nursing home volunteer, Baptist deacon, and family man. But back when I met Harold, he was a new believer. He was not yet the last half of those descriptions. He was in my Experiencing God group along with other folks who were very, very different from me. I remember that group for that reason. I would have never chosen these people to join my group. But to this day I can remember what I learned from them. They saw life and the world in a unique way and helped me understand their perspective. All those new people became my friends over the 15 weeks we met together and then we were in church together until we moved. Don’t miss meeting the people God brings to West Mobile. Use your initiative and energy to discover what God wants to teach you through them.