Books Can Impact Your Life

Working in education in my church and in other churches through the years, I have always encouraged people to read the Bible. I still do that. The Word of God has the power to change lives. Unlike other books, it is enlivened by the Holy Spirit and can work supernaturally to speak truth into people’s lives. I read the Bible every day.

As a child, I was a reader. I read every single Beverly Cleary book (look her up) and every book in the Little House on the Prairie series. In the hot summertime with no air conditioning, I read The Long Winter by Laura Ingalls Wilder. It kept me cool that summer.

  I’m also a pretty fast reader. I didn’t realize that until one of our summer visits to the public library around 7th grade or so. My sister and I put our 2-foot high stack of books on the counter as we walked in. Mrs. Floyd, the library lady exclaimed, “Why do you check out so many books?” I was puzzled and a little taken aback. I stammered, “To read them.” She continued, “You girls read all these books?” We nodded and she went back to work. I was a little proud of myself upon discovering that we were doing something not many people did.

As a teenager, our church started a library. This excited me. The library had only two shelves but through those books I discovered more information about Jim & Elisabeth Eliot, Billy Graham, Bill Wallace, Corrie ten Boom, Brother Andrew and others. I considered these people super Christians. They challenged me with their faith and obedience to God.

As I got down to the dregs of the tiny church library, I checked out a book about having a daily devotional time. I am sure I had heard many preachers and teachers tell me to read my Bible every day. I did that and literally checked the box (some of you will get that). But this book told me to get a notebook and set it up so I could write down what I learned and questions to ask myself as I read scripture: a command to obey; a promise to keep. . . . I got a blue horse notebook (which I still have) and made a place to record my insights. It changed my life. Just the act of taking a pen in hand to write down what I was learning made me focus more, meditate more, and listen more to God’s Word. In the discipleship groups I have led in recent years, I helped them set up a HEAR journal. It is from Gallaty’s book Growing Up. It is a similar format to what I used years ago.

My children are grown and married now. One day I got a text from my daughter Amy with the photo you see on this blog. This is my daughter talking with Brother Andrew. Yes, that same Brother Andrew that I read about in junior high who smuggled Bibles into eastern Europe. I got tears in my eyes. Writing this, there are tears again.

 You know the phrase “you are what you eat?” It is true for our physical bodies. But what you take into your thoughts through reading can change who you are. It cannot help but impact how you raise your children. Obviously, children grow up and make decisions for themselves and you don’t make them anymore. But seeing my daughter having a conversation with Brother Andrew brought back all these memories!

Before I cry again, here is my takeaway. Spend time reading good books. We have so much entertainment at our fingertips that reading can easily be squeezed out. Sure, there are lots of good movies and shows but mostly we fritter away time on content that has no positive impact.

Watch for the next blog. Reading challenge for 2018 is on its’ way.

Brother Andrew's organization Open Doors still operates today in ministry to the persecuted church worldwide. Amy works there. Check it out.

#ThingsChristianWomenHear

In recent days, a tweetstorm erupted over the hashtag #ThingsChristianWomenHear. Since I’ve done some related research, thought I would respond with some thoughts. When the women tweeted the negative comments that had been directed at them, it brought a flood of memories. I’ve heard many of them myself.

At my age (late 50’s), some of the strongest statements I have heard erupted from men reacting to my “femaleness” in a male-dominated environment (church leadership/staff). However, the criticisms and negative remarks, while hurtful, are normal for any church staff member—not just the women. Hurtful people will find the weak spot to attack. Male pastors and staff members get hit too—in whatever real or perceived weakness people can find. Some criticisms need reaction or discussion and others need to be overlooked.

My research on a dozen women staff members who serve in Southern Baptist Churches where there are no female pastors or elders did not uncover a bunch of angry women. I found women who loved, served, taught, organized, and persevered to serve in their churches. Sure, they had challenges and some were unique to their gender. But I couldn’t have found a more positive and determined group if I had tried. And, I didn’t hand-pick them, it was a random selection.

Is there a solution to the negativity and pushback that women trying to serve as leaders of ministries in SBC churches? Probably. Some statements were not made with love or consideration of the feelings of others, or even the overall health of the church. But in the church where I work, I know these men. They are my brothers in Christ and I do whatever I can to keep a strong relationship that is positive. I don’t have time to dwell on the negative. The task we are working on together is too important to spend time arguing.

I am a complementarian. If you don’t know that word, you aren’t alone. Complementarianism defines women as equally spiritually gifted as men but they do not hold the same roles as men in the church. This is the position of the Baptist Faith & Message, 2000 and my denomination's statement of faith—the Southern Baptist Convention.

I just completed my dissertation on Challenges Facing Women Serving as Church Staff in SBC churches. Now that the research is done I know that my experiences are similar to others that I interviewed—all women serving in churches where there are no women deacons, elders, or pastors. Some see this position as patriarchal or archaic. I don’t. I see it as a biblical position.

More later . . .

10 Tips for New College Students
Or Tips for anyone who needs them

Donna J. Wright - July 29, 2017

1-Go to Class. Sit down with a calculator and figure out how much tuition costs per class. Whether you are paying (now or later), your parents are, or a scholarship—it is still money. When you don’t go to class, you waste that much money. Go in with pen and paper and put your phone up. Look at the professor and listen well.

2-Talk to your professor. The professor is a real person who has decided they want to teach undergrads. They are more interested in you than you realize. They will follow your achievements long after you have forgotten about them.

3-Be respectful. First of all, respect yourself. You are loved and valued by God. Respect others, their feelings, their possessions, and their personhood. Speak and write (text, message, email, or letter) in a way that reflects the way you want to be treated. The only behavior you can control is your own.

4-Use the Golden Rule to make behavior decisions. The golden rule is a great help when you struggle with how to act or react in situations. You can never go wrong with treating someone else as you would want to be treated and it is easy to figure out.

5-Take care of your health. This usually means eating, sleeping, and exercising. If you are living in the dorm and eating in a cafeteria, make colorful choices. Eat a variety of foods. You need minerals and vitamins in your body and this is the only way they get in. Set a sleep schedule and stick with it. Take an exercise class if you are not a regularly active person. Avoid alcohol. It is bad for you, cost money, and can hamper your judgment.

6-Make wise decisions. Some students think of freshman year as they time they finally have some freedom from mom and dad. This is true but the laws of physics, economics, and biology are still in effect. You are not invincible and poor choices can have bad consequences. Eating out will wreck your budget. Eat in the cafeteria and then share a half gallon of ice cream with your friends for a study break.

7-Recognize “It’s all good” and “follow your heart” are both bad advice. Everything is not good. We live in a fallen and sinful world. God is all good. Following your “heart” can easily translate into doing what you want which is selfish. Follow and recognize God as your creator and worship Him first. Put participation in a church into your schedule within the first six weeks of school. It is the one choice that can positively impact all the other choices.

8-“I’m good” is not true. The power of drift and the path of least resistance are real. It is more fun to play video games than it is to write a paper. Work first and play later. The first weeks of the semester will be some of the best times for you to read and work ahead on your assignments. Be self-disciplined. Get up. Make your bed. Prepare for class. Go to class. Do your assignments in a timely manner. Self-awareness is key to changing behavior that is not good. Setting rules for yourself based on what you know about you will help.

9-If you don’t manage your time, someone else will do it for you. There will always be someone who is looking for someone to go do something “fun” with. Just hang out and let others plan your life. College is an expensive preparation for your future. Don’t waste it. Set a schedule of work and stick to it. Manage your fun times to maximize it and your budget.

10-You only get once chance to be a college freshman, make the most of it. There are no “do-overs.” This is one of the most important transitions of your life. Sit down and think about how you want it to happen and then get to work making it happen. Choose good friends during this time when you actually get to decide who you spend time with. Enjoy this time in your life. You will never forget this year. Make it a year of growth and improvement and not one of regret.

They make me so mad!

How mistakes can ruin your day.

A church communications page I follow often shows pleas for help from ministers and church staff who have impossible deadlines, the wrong words on the screen, or a mess left for them to clean up. Mistakes range from the simple to the complex.

Mistakes are common. They can be big, obvious, and minor-- like the time I wore one navy shoe and one white shoe to church. I was pregnant—that was my excuse. Some of them are never noticed, or if they are, quickly forgotten.  An error on GPS could strand someone in a snowbank (http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/video/gps-nightmare-leads-800-mile-wrong-turn-29570774), while other mistakes can be easily overlooked.

Is this a serious mistake?

The key is in discerning which mistakes really are are worthy of extra energy or attention. Anger takes emotional energy than takes away from your overall energy supply. Little mistakes should not negatively influence you and others.

I remember sharing with some new church members that “the day will come that we (church staff) will let you down—we will disappoint you or make a decision you won’t like.” I continued to say that we want to be able to work in unity as a church, but we have to realize that we will have conflicts and disagreements, but as brothers and sisters we will work through them. Deciding ahead of time to work through these inevitable issues is the best plan.

When I read the book The Peacemaker by Ken Sande in the late 90’s, it introduced the concept of overlooking an offense. In that context, it is talking about mistakes that cause a rift between people. Overlooking an offense was a new concept to me back then. In childhood, it never occurred to me to overlook anything. Any slight was serious. I hit, talked back, or tattled—I didn’t overlook.

As people mature, we develop more of a sense of “others” in that we can see intent (whether someone meant to do something), habit (does this offense happen regularly?), or malice (was the offense intentional and meant to harm)?

One of the commenters on the facebook post remarked that whenever she makes a typo in the bulletin that is not caught before printing, her pastor always makes the same remark: “It won’t keep anyone from the cross.” What a great perspective! It doesn’t take away the need to be careful and correct mistakes, but it takes note of its importance in light of eternity—the task faced by the church to share Jesus with the world.

Is this a learning experience for both of us?

On another day, I returned an item to a store and a new employee was being trained on my transaction. It took much longer than it should have. I overlooked the hassle and went on with my day. Maybe I gained in my patience in allowing someone to learn a new skill. Do we improve and correct and get better? But times will occur when we may “suffer” due to someone else’s mistake.

Deal with the mistake in the right frame of mind

Look at the mistake calmly. If you are angry, let it subside before confronting it. By confronting, it should always be face to face unless that is impossible. It takes less courage to say things in an email than it does to talk in person. Words can hurt and if you have the guts to hurl them you should have guts enough to see their impact up close. If you send that angry email, the damage it can do can take days, months, even years, to rebuild. Wait, and gain some perspective before making a costly mistake.

Don't let a mistake ruin your day . . . or week . . . or month.

The Peacemaker by Ken Sande. Kindle e-book from amazon.com. 2012.