They make me so mad!

How mistakes can ruin your day.

A church communications page I follow often shows pleas for help from ministers and church staff who have impossible deadlines, the wrong words on the screen, or a mess left for them to clean up. Mistakes range from the simple to the complex.

Mistakes are common. They can be big, obvious, and minor-- like the time I wore one navy shoe and one white shoe to church. I was pregnant—that was my excuse. Some of them are never noticed, or if they are, quickly forgotten.  An error on GPS could strand someone in a snowbank (http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/video/gps-nightmare-leads-800-mile-wrong-turn-29570774), while other mistakes can be easily overlooked.

Is this a serious mistake?

The key is in discerning which mistakes really are are worthy of extra energy or attention. Anger takes emotional energy than takes away from your overall energy supply. Little mistakes should not negatively influence you and others.

I remember sharing with some new church members that “the day will come that we (church staff) will let you down—we will disappoint you or make a decision you won’t like.” I continued to say that we want to be able to work in unity as a church, but we have to realize that we will have conflicts and disagreements, but as brothers and sisters we will work through them. Deciding ahead of time to work through these inevitable issues is the best plan.

When I read the book The Peacemaker by Ken Sande in the late 90’s, it introduced the concept of overlooking an offense. In that context, it is talking about mistakes that cause a rift between people. Overlooking an offense was a new concept to me back then. In childhood, it never occurred to me to overlook anything. Any slight was serious. I hit, talked back, or tattled—I didn’t overlook.

As people mature, we develop more of a sense of “others” in that we can see intent (whether someone meant to do something), habit (does this offense happen regularly?), or malice (was the offense intentional and meant to harm)?

One of the commenters on the facebook post remarked that whenever she makes a typo in the bulletin that is not caught before printing, her pastor always makes the same remark: “It won’t keep anyone from the cross.” What a great perspective! It doesn’t take away the need to be careful and correct mistakes, but it takes note of its importance in light of eternity—the task faced by the church to share Jesus with the world.

Is this a learning experience for both of us?

On another day, I returned an item to a store and a new employee was being trained on my transaction. It took much longer than it should have. I overlooked the hassle and went on with my day. Maybe I gained in my patience in allowing someone to learn a new skill. Do we improve and correct and get better? But times will occur when we may “suffer” due to someone else’s mistake.

Deal with the mistake in the right frame of mind

Look at the mistake calmly. If you are angry, let it subside before confronting it. By confronting, it should always be face to face unless that is impossible. It takes less courage to say things in an email than it does to talk in person. Words can hurt and if you have the guts to hurl them you should have guts enough to see their impact up close. If you send that angry email, the damage it can do can take days, months, even years, to rebuild. Wait, and gain some perspective before making a costly mistake.

Don't let a mistake ruin your day . . . or week . . . or month.

The Peacemaker by Ken Sande. Kindle e-book from amazon.com. 2012.