10 Tips for New College Students
Or Tips for anyone who needs them

Donna J. Wright - July 29, 2017

1-Go to Class. Sit down with a calculator and figure out how much tuition costs per class. Whether you are paying (now or later), your parents are, or a scholarship—it is still money. When you don’t go to class, you waste that much money. Go in with pen and paper and put your phone up. Look at the professor and listen well.

2-Talk to your professor. The professor is a real person who has decided they want to teach undergrads. They are more interested in you than you realize. They will follow your achievements long after you have forgotten about them.

3-Be respectful. First of all, respect yourself. You are loved and valued by God. Respect others, their feelings, their possessions, and their personhood. Speak and write (text, message, email, or letter) in a way that reflects the way you want to be treated. The only behavior you can control is your own.

4-Use the Golden Rule to make behavior decisions. The golden rule is a great help when you struggle with how to act or react in situations. You can never go wrong with treating someone else as you would want to be treated and it is easy to figure out.

5-Take care of your health. This usually means eating, sleeping, and exercising. If you are living in the dorm and eating in a cafeteria, make colorful choices. Eat a variety of foods. You need minerals and vitamins in your body and this is the only way they get in. Set a sleep schedule and stick with it. Take an exercise class if you are not a regularly active person. Avoid alcohol. It is bad for you, cost money, and can hamper your judgment.

6-Make wise decisions. Some students think of freshman year as they time they finally have some freedom from mom and dad. This is true but the laws of physics, economics, and biology are still in effect. You are not invincible and poor choices can have bad consequences. Eating out will wreck your budget. Eat in the cafeteria and then share a half gallon of ice cream with your friends for a study break.

7-Recognize “It’s all good” and “follow your heart” are both bad advice. Everything is not good. We live in a fallen and sinful world. God is all good. Following your “heart” can easily translate into doing what you want which is selfish. Follow and recognize God as your creator and worship Him first. Put participation in a church into your schedule within the first six weeks of school. It is the one choice that can positively impact all the other choices.

8-“I’m good” is not true. The power of drift and the path of least resistance are real. It is more fun to play video games than it is to write a paper. Work first and play later. The first weeks of the semester will be some of the best times for you to read and work ahead on your assignments. Be self-disciplined. Get up. Make your bed. Prepare for class. Go to class. Do your assignments in a timely manner. Self-awareness is key to changing behavior that is not good. Setting rules for yourself based on what you know about you will help.

9-If you don’t manage your time, someone else will do it for you. There will always be someone who is looking for someone to go do something “fun” with. Just hang out and let others plan your life. College is an expensive preparation for your future. Don’t waste it. Set a schedule of work and stick to it. Manage your fun times to maximize it and your budget.

10-You only get once chance to be a college freshman, make the most of it. There are no “do-overs.” This is one of the most important transitions of your life. Sit down and think about how you want it to happen and then get to work making it happen. Choose good friends during this time when you actually get to decide who you spend time with. Enjoy this time in your life. You will never forget this year. Make it a year of growth and improvement and not one of regret.

They make me so mad!

How mistakes can ruin your day.

A church communications page I follow often shows pleas for help from ministers and church staff who have impossible deadlines, the wrong words on the screen, or a mess left for them to clean up. Mistakes range from the simple to the complex.

Mistakes are common. They can be big, obvious, and minor-- like the time I wore one navy shoe and one white shoe to church. I was pregnant—that was my excuse. Some of them are never noticed, or if they are, quickly forgotten.  An error on GPS could strand someone in a snowbank (http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/video/gps-nightmare-leads-800-mile-wrong-turn-29570774), while other mistakes can be easily overlooked.

Is this a serious mistake?

The key is in discerning which mistakes really are are worthy of extra energy or attention. Anger takes emotional energy than takes away from your overall energy supply. Little mistakes should not negatively influence you and others.

I remember sharing with some new church members that “the day will come that we (church staff) will let you down—we will disappoint you or make a decision you won’t like.” I continued to say that we want to be able to work in unity as a church, but we have to realize that we will have conflicts and disagreements, but as brothers and sisters we will work through them. Deciding ahead of time to work through these inevitable issues is the best plan.

When I read the book The Peacemaker by Ken Sande in the late 90’s, it introduced the concept of overlooking an offense. In that context, it is talking about mistakes that cause a rift between people. Overlooking an offense was a new concept to me back then. In childhood, it never occurred to me to overlook anything. Any slight was serious. I hit, talked back, or tattled—I didn’t overlook.

As people mature, we develop more of a sense of “others” in that we can see intent (whether someone meant to do something), habit (does this offense happen regularly?), or malice (was the offense intentional and meant to harm)?

One of the commenters on the facebook post remarked that whenever she makes a typo in the bulletin that is not caught before printing, her pastor always makes the same remark: “It won’t keep anyone from the cross.” What a great perspective! It doesn’t take away the need to be careful and correct mistakes, but it takes note of its importance in light of eternity—the task faced by the church to share Jesus with the world.

Is this a learning experience for both of us?

On another day, I returned an item to a store and a new employee was being trained on my transaction. It took much longer than it should have. I overlooked the hassle and went on with my day. Maybe I gained in my patience in allowing someone to learn a new skill. Do we improve and correct and get better? But times will occur when we may “suffer” due to someone else’s mistake.

Deal with the mistake in the right frame of mind

Look at the mistake calmly. If you are angry, let it subside before confronting it. By confronting, it should always be face to face unless that is impossible. It takes less courage to say things in an email than it does to talk in person. Words can hurt and if you have the guts to hurl them you should have guts enough to see their impact up close. If you send that angry email, the damage it can do can take days, months, even years, to rebuild. Wait, and gain some perspective before making a costly mistake.

Don't let a mistake ruin your day . . . or week . . . or month.

The Peacemaker by Ken Sande. Kindle e-book from amazon.com. 2012.